I wasn't—! [ He starts his objection, but it dies before he can even get it fully out. She was right, he was defending her when he shouldn't have. Not wanting to hurt her wasn't something that should excuse the whole thing, no matter how much he might want it to. So he doesn't pick it back up, keeping his eyes averted instead, the way he usually did when he wasn't handling his emotions in the best of ways.
What was going on in your head... He feels his shoulders tense, like somehow that's the worst question he could have been asked. Could he even really remember the whole plot of the movie? Bits and pieces stood out, but they weren't coherent, and he only had the vague sense of having found it had an at least somewhat enjoyable plotline. He rubs the back of his neck, his forehead wrinkling deeply, and he feels like he wants to say they should forget the whole thing, like that will somehow help.
He pinches the brim of his nose in frustration. He's trying to quiet the voice in his head that wants to say he should have known better, he should have said something, he shouldn't have let Usagi just rest on him without moving like it was all okay, that it's his fault and that Anna can clearly see that because otherwise she wouldn't be using that Royal Tone with him, right? He knows that that isn't rational, that he's beating himself up because of his own feelings of failure than because of anyone else seeing them that way, but it's a hard trap to not fall into. ]
I... [ He trails off without having even really started, biting down on his tongue, lips pursed, before he forces himself to try again. ] I don't know. I was confused. I was... Overwhelmed? I didn't know what to think about it. I knew back home it would be bad, that if someone saw us they'd start a dozen rumors about just one, innocent thing. But everyone here is so much more open about these things. It's normal to them. They touch all the time. I feel like I'm the weird one when it gets to be too much because no one else seems to be bothered by it, why should I? I—
I guess I was telling myself I was overreacting and that I like affection, I like when you and Elsa hug me or cuddle against me, so it's stupid that being around people who are affectionate should make me feel like I'm— [ He stops, brows knitting even more deeply as he tries to figure out how to say it. ] It feels like... when someone pulls you out after you've fallen through the ice. When you feel like you've been suffocating and you want the warmth, but every touch is so sharp and painful and you just want it to stop because it's too much.
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What was going on in your head... He feels his shoulders tense, like somehow that's the worst question he could have been asked. Could he even really remember the whole plot of the movie? Bits and pieces stood out, but they weren't coherent, and he only had the vague sense of having found it had an at least somewhat enjoyable plotline. He rubs the back of his neck, his forehead wrinkling deeply, and he feels like he wants to say they should forget the whole thing, like that will somehow help.
He pinches the brim of his nose in frustration. He's trying to quiet the voice in his head that wants to say he should have known better, he should have said something, he shouldn't have let Usagi just rest on him without moving like it was all okay, that it's his fault and that Anna can clearly see that because otherwise she wouldn't be using that Royal Tone with him, right? He knows that that isn't rational, that he's beating himself up because of his own feelings of failure than because of anyone else seeing them that way, but it's a hard trap to not fall into. ]
I... [ He trails off without having even really started, biting down on his tongue, lips pursed, before he forces himself to try again. ] I don't know. I was confused. I was... Overwhelmed? I didn't know what to think about it. I knew back home it would be bad, that if someone saw us they'd start a dozen rumors about just one, innocent thing. But everyone here is so much more open about these things. It's normal to them. They touch all the time. I feel like I'm the weird one when it gets to be too much because no one else seems to be bothered by it, why should I? I—
I guess I was telling myself I was overreacting and that I like affection, I like when you and Elsa hug me or cuddle against me, so it's stupid that being around people who are affectionate should make me feel like I'm— [ He stops, brows knitting even more deeply as he tries to figure out how to say it. ] It feels like... when someone pulls you out after you've fallen through the ice. When you feel like you've been suffocating and you want the warmth, but every touch is so sharp and painful and you just want it to stop because it's too much.