[ Luckily over the years she's become quite adept at knowing Kristoff's different laughs, as well as all his other responses. ]
I...I know. I guess maybe I'm just not used to asking, so it's new. I've never wanted to interrupt anything in your life. Not your ice harvesting, not pushing you to attend parties, not even forcing you out of the barn. Though I am glad you are finally not sleeping in the barn...
Usually my life is so full of expectations and itinerary, and I'm used to you having to check in with me. Not, the other way around.
[ That sounds terrible and she flushes. ] I really am spoiled, aren't I? Even by you...
[ The look on his face at least doesn't change, even as she admits the worries she's been having out loud. The idea that she usually has so much to do, that she's never had to worry about seeking him out first, really...
He shrugs. ]
You're a princess— sorry, a queen. Of course you're spoiled.
[ His face softens slightly more, the adoration replaced with one of empathy. He knew how hard it could be to feel like you had to fight for someone's attention better than anyone, after all, and he knew how hard that could be on her after all the years of fighting for Elsa's. Maybe it was why he'd never made her fight for his before. ]
But you haven't always been. It's not like it was before, you know. If you knock, I'm always gonna open the door. [ He figures it's a bit more careful to phrase it that way than mentioning her sister outright here. ] I'm sorry things are so different. But I'm not more important than you are or more needed or doing more to support us. You're as much apart of this ice business as I am. You're the reason it exists. You're important, Anna, and you would be to me even if you weren't doing anything at all.
It's not interrupting when I say that I want you to contact me whenever you need to. And you wouldn't have been at home, either. Even if you'd pushed a little more.
[ She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to relax her nerves. Being spoiled wasn't something that she strove for, but it would have been as ridiculous to judge her on it as it would be to judge him for who he had become from his troll upbringing. ]
Either way, I know I'm not better for it and I see you as my equal. You always saw me as yours. My being a princess never changed the way you treated me.
[ The loving words go a long way towards soothing her concerns. Some people with no money had been far more spoiled in love and attention and freedom than she'd had. The blessings of life came in many forms, and perhaps that was what helped her understand people so well. She may have been spoiled, but she understood what it meant to not have what you wanted and needed. ]
A part of me really understands that. I guess life is just so different here and I was just getting used to changes at home, and now I have to get used to another place and another situation. I'm tired. I just want to plan a wedding and get used to my duties and have things return to some kind of normal. Instead we're stuck here, learning new customs and meeting people who live their lives in so many different ways.
I just don't want to be overbearing or tell you what to do, and I feel kind of...clingy.
[ She'd been that way with Elsa, when the doors had opened, and now without Elsa, she was clinging to Kristoff like he'd jump ship at any moment. ]
I guess, hearing you were curled up with another woman made me consider that you haven't ever explored romance with anyone but me. But I don't think you've had a lot of options. I'm not without my insecurities obviously. I mean, I assumed you might be looking for romance with someone else when you were trying to declare your undying love! I don't think my heart could tolerate losing you, and despite how much I know you love me, I still have nightmares about being told you don't love me.
[ She looks down, embarrassed to be so affected by it. ]
[ Kristoff could never be sure that not treating her like a princess from the start had been a good thing, but it had certainly set the tone for their relationship from the beginning. He was lucky she hadn't been one of those Off With Your Head type of royals with how he'd talked back to her, really.
While he'd had a somewhat amused smile on his face at the start, it changes, softens, eventually disappearing when she talks about her nightmares. Not for the first time, he wishes he could reach out and grab her hand, but maybe the video feed is what makes it easier to open up about it all. Like there's some kind of separation that makes it easier to be honest.
He bites on his lip for a moment, leaning back against Sven with his arms crossed over his chest. ]
I'm sorry you're still having nightmares. I know... what Hans did to you hurt you more deeply than probably any of us can imagine. [ He hesitates for a second, before pushing on, hoping he's at least close to saying the right words. ]
I could've explored romance if I wanted to, y'know. I just... didn't. Not having experience doesn't mean I don't know what I want. [ There's a pause before he corrects himself; ] Not that I think you were saying I don't know. But if you're scared because of my lack of exploration, you don't have to be. Wanting to explore romance with you was how I knew you were the one. I'd never have let you in otherwise.
[ He had planned on spending his life alone when it came down to it. Anna had just thrown a wrench in those plans by being irresistible, apparently. ]
At the end of the day, Hans wasn't your true love. And I am. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me.
[ He was saying the right words, even if they were the right words that she had so often heard; the reminder helps.
Her eyes look away from the feed as she thinks about what he's saying and she gives a little nod.
But she does look up when he mentions that he knew she was the one because he wanted to explore it with her. It's not like she thinks Kristoff is immune to the way women look or the desire for them, but she knows how dedicated he is to his work and how much energy he puts into it. She crashed into his small world and he had wanted her to stay and that meant something. And Hans wasn't her true love and she'd already started figuring that out even before he'd betrayed her.
She doesn't flinch at any of his words, or insert her own ideas, so she was improving. ]
I trust you. You know I trust you. Or if you think I don't, then we need to be having another conversation. [ Her tone hints at the playfulness that suggests she's coming around. ]
I am still afraid of losing you. [ And look some honesty. ] But, I'm not afraid that you'll leave me at the alter or back out. And I know you are strong enough to face whatever being married to me entails, so I know it's all just my own anxieties plaguing me.
Thank you Kristoff, I want you know that I appreciate your devotion. I don't think anyone has ever been devoted to me the way you are, and I'll work on my nerves.
[ He gives a genuine smile, glad to see her take his words to heart, and giving a small laugh at her mention of him possibly thinking she doesn't trust him. She was right; he did know. If there was one thing that they always seemed to be able to rely on, it was each other. ]
I love you, Anna. Whatever you go through, we'll go through together. Even if I have to reassure you every step of the way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I...I know. I guess maybe I'm just not used to asking, so it's new. I've never wanted to interrupt anything in your life. Not your ice harvesting, not pushing you to attend parties, not even forcing you out of the barn. Though I am glad you are finally not sleeping in the barn...
Usually my life is so full of expectations and itinerary, and I'm used to you having to check in with me. Not, the other way around.
[ That sounds terrible and she flushes. ] I really am spoiled, aren't I? Even by you...
no subject
He shrugs. ]
You're a princess— sorry, a queen. Of course you're spoiled.
[ His face softens slightly more, the adoration replaced with one of empathy. He knew how hard it could be to feel like you had to fight for someone's attention better than anyone, after all, and he knew how hard that could be on her after all the years of fighting for Elsa's. Maybe it was why he'd never made her fight for his before. ]
But you haven't always been. It's not like it was before, you know. If you knock, I'm always gonna open the door. [ He figures it's a bit more careful to phrase it that way than mentioning her sister outright here. ] I'm sorry things are so different. But I'm not more important than you are or more needed or doing more to support us. You're as much apart of this ice business as I am. You're the reason it exists. You're important, Anna, and you would be to me even if you weren't doing anything at all.
It's not interrupting when I say that I want you to contact me whenever you need to. And you wouldn't have been at home, either. Even if you'd pushed a little more.
no subject
Either way, I know I'm not better for it and I see you as my equal. You always saw me as yours. My being a princess never changed the way you treated me.
[ The loving words go a long way towards soothing her concerns. Some people with no money had been far more spoiled in love and attention and freedom than she'd had. The blessings of life came in many forms, and perhaps that was what helped her understand people so well. She may have been spoiled, but she understood what it meant to not have what you wanted and needed. ]
A part of me really understands that. I guess life is just so different here and I was just getting used to changes at home, and now I have to get used to another place and another situation. I'm tired. I just want to plan a wedding and get used to my duties and have things return to some kind of normal. Instead we're stuck here, learning new customs and meeting people who live their lives in so many different ways.
I just don't want to be overbearing or tell you what to do, and I feel kind of...clingy.
[ She'd been that way with Elsa, when the doors had opened, and now without Elsa, she was clinging to Kristoff like he'd jump ship at any moment. ]
I guess, hearing you were curled up with another woman made me consider that you haven't ever explored romance with anyone but me. But I don't think you've had a lot of options. I'm not without my insecurities obviously. I mean, I assumed you might be looking for romance with someone else when you were trying to declare your undying love! I don't think my heart could tolerate losing you, and despite how much I know you love me, I still have nightmares about being told you don't love me.
[ She looks down, embarrassed to be so affected by it. ]
no subject
While he'd had a somewhat amused smile on his face at the start, it changes, softens, eventually disappearing when she talks about her nightmares. Not for the first time, he wishes he could reach out and grab her hand, but maybe the video feed is what makes it easier to open up about it all. Like there's some kind of separation that makes it easier to be honest.
He bites on his lip for a moment, leaning back against Sven with his arms crossed over his chest. ]
I'm sorry you're still having nightmares. I know... what Hans did to you hurt you more deeply than probably any of us can imagine. [ He hesitates for a second, before pushing on, hoping he's at least close to saying the right words. ]
I could've explored romance if I wanted to, y'know. I just... didn't. Not having experience doesn't mean I don't know what I want. [ There's a pause before he corrects himself; ] Not that I think you were saying I don't know. But if you're scared because of my lack of exploration, you don't have to be. Wanting to explore romance with you was how I knew you were the one. I'd never have let you in otherwise.
[ He had planned on spending his life alone when it came down to it. Anna had just thrown a wrench in those plans by being irresistible, apparently. ]
At the end of the day, Hans wasn't your true love. And I am. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me.
no subject
Her eyes look away from the feed as she thinks about what he's saying and she gives a little nod.
But she does look up when he mentions that he knew she was the one because he wanted to explore it with her. It's not like she thinks Kristoff is immune to the way women look or the desire for them, but she knows how dedicated he is to his work and how much energy he puts into it. She crashed into his small world and he had wanted her to stay and that meant something. And Hans wasn't her true love and she'd already started figuring that out even before he'd betrayed her.
She doesn't flinch at any of his words, or insert her own ideas, so she was improving. ]
I trust you. You know I trust you. Or if you think I don't, then we need to be having another conversation. [ Her tone hints at the playfulness that suggests she's coming around. ]
I am still afraid of losing you. [ And look some honesty. ] But, I'm not afraid that you'll leave me at the alter or back out. And I know you are strong enough to face whatever being married to me entails, so I know it's all just my own anxieties plaguing me.
Thank you Kristoff, I want you know that I appreciate your devotion. I don't think anyone has ever been devoted to me the way you are, and I'll work on my nerves.
no subject
I love you, Anna. Whatever you go through, we'll go through together. Even if I have to reassure you every step of the way.
no subject
I remember that too.
[ But now she's nearly jumping in her seat and it feels like the kind of conversation that needs a hug and a kiss to finalize it. ]
Hey Kristoff, how about we meet up for dinner? I think we've said what we can and I'd like to spend some time with you in person.
no subject
[ He gives her his own smile before he goes to shut off his feed so he can come grab her. ]