Sex is pretty much the most talked about thing ever back home. There's like a bajillion things you can read about it or watch about it or whatever. The real trick is sorting out what's bullshit from what's fact. And I... did not do that for a very long time, so I'm gonna stop you from making my same mistakes.
[ That was probably the most honest she's ever been about her own sexual experiences in her life. ]
Look, it doesn't matter what his... size is, there are ways to adjust. I'm telling you. I thought it was supposed to hurt my first time too and because everyone told me that was normal, I didn't realize that how painful it was was actually really fucked up. You don't need to suffer through it. If something genuinely hurts, you tell him to stop.
[ She lets go of her hands finally, leaning back a little in her chair. ]
I'll get you some books, if you want. With like... tips and info or whatever. They'll probably explain it with a lot more neutral language than I can. I know I'm, like, a walking pop culture reference that is way ahead of your time.
[ All she was gathering from the future was that things were extremely different and it was a strange mix of good and bad. It was probably a good thing people talked more about sex, but she wondered if there was too much openness. No matter, she appreciated the honesty from Chloe. ]
That's one thing I don't have to worry about from him. If he so much as sees me wince, he'll stop immediately.
[ She doesn't understand what Chloe means by 'pop culture' but she can assume it has something to do with the way she puts things because she definitely understand the 'reference' part. ]
For real? [ It's kind of sad that even after all this time, Chloe's still shocked by men who give a shit about women feel in bed. In fairness, she's pretty sure most of the sex she's had here wasn't focused on whether or not she was feeling it either, though. ] Jeez, you snagged a rare gem, then.
[ She tries to remember what all those old sex books her mom had initially "accidentally" left out for her to find had said about it. She's sure the Joy of Sex or whatever else is probably the most up to date thing she'd really find in this town. ]
Mmm, mostly like... how to make it more comfortable, different kinds of lead up activities you can do, positions that might work better than others... Basic stuff like that. There's usually a pretty good intro to how it all works in general, too. In case you weren't given the details on, y'know, the whole shebang.
[ She blinks a couple of times. It should be the way men are, not a rarity. ]
You know, Kristoff has alluded to as much. He said he doesn't like the way some men talk about women. I mean, the wives in Arendelle seem happy, but they are very busy and we don't talk about sex, so I suppose I don't know for certain. All I know is, it won't be that for us.
[ She glances over towards Kristoff as she talks about positions, but only for a moment before realizing her thoughts are probably loud enough for Chloe to hear. ]
...I know a little about the lead up activities. It's...getting harder to...stick to those.
He's right to not like it. Maybe it's different in Arendelle, but most men in my world are complete garbage. I know the first dude I slept with certainly didn't give a shit. They're more concerned with getting their dicks wet most of the time. [ ....... God dammit, Chloe. ]
But it's... good. That you guys care about each other that much. It'll make it that much better when you finally cave. [ Which it sure sounds like Anna is wanting. She gives her a nudge with her elbow. ] It's just a dream world, right? What's the harm?
[ Anna's eyes widen, she actually knows what that is, but she's never heard it used much. The way Chloe phrases it, is something Anna can grasp and she's shocked by the phrasing. The men in Anna's life weren't so forward about such things. To her experience, they were all quite polite about it. ]
Yeeeesss. I have heard they like it...
[ Thankfully Anna is not easily offended by things and can allow it to roll off her shoulders. The peer pressure though is both received with welcome and hesitancy. ]
But waiting...I mean, giving in to temptation may prevent the wedding night from being...well...magical. [ She'd always been told how special a wedding night was. ]
[ Chloe frowns a little in thought. She's never been very romantic or even thought about that sort of tradition, but she guesses that it would not just be the norm in her world, it would be downright expected. ]
Look, I never plan on getting married so maybe my opinion is shit, but I think your wedding night isn't gonna be any more or less special if you sleep together before or after it. It's supposed to be about love, right? And that feeling... It just gets stronger every time you get to be with someone like that.
[ She shrugs, feeling a blush starting at her nose that she tries desperately to keep from spreading. Thinking about Max and the intimacy she'd had with her had that outcome usually and it was hard to not when she was talking about this particular kind of thing. ]
I'm not sayin' you gotta do anything, that's on you two and what you feel is right. But don't let some arbitrary rules made up be a bunch of power hungry men limit your possibilities.
See? You're picking up on the holes in the scheme already.
[ The second question gets a laugh out of her, forgetting that those sorts of things might come as a surprise. ]
Stupid rules are almost always the fault of men. Think about it; when a woman has a kid, everyone automatically knows it's hers, right? So the best way to keep track of a family should be through the mother's family line. But men wanted to be in charge of property and laws and all this other shit, so they decided it was better to trace it down through their families. The only way they can do that is if they can cut down the chances of a baby being some other dude's. Which meeeeans... no sex until you belong to one person.
[ Anna is quiet for awhile, taking in what Chloe is saying. These are ideas that she's not necessarily ever thought of, at least not in any great detail, but as a strong woman and a Queen with a long lineage, the concepts sink in to her.
She swallows as her head is full of the contradictions and she brings a finger up to her mouth to chew at her nail. Her head is a spiral into situations and ideas that are less than fair and it's a trip to consider them. She finally frees her finger and looks back at Chloe. ]
I...never thought about it that way. But it makes sense. From the time I was born, I was raised to know my father's history and the pure bloodline I descended from. My mother comes from another very old family, but she hid her lineage; and she kind of had to. But that's another story. Either way, my father was in charge. I imagine they would have wanted a boy, but Elsa and I were never considered less as far as I know.
You know, another thing is that...when I was younger, I met this guy and sort of thought it was immediately true love, so I kind of immediately got engaged to him...like...that night. My sister didn't like the idea of that and in an argument her ice powers kind of went crazy and she froze over all of Arendelle in an eternal winter. I went up the mountain to save her, and I left my fiance in charge.
I told you that whole frozen heart thing, but anyway, long story short Kristoff got me back to the castle thinking Hans could cure me. But he showed his true colors and left me to...die.
[ Her eyes go empty for a second as she remembers the situation, but she shakes her head and goes on. ]
My point is that, I found out after everything that he'd gone to a group of dignitaries and royals, convinced them I was dead and told them we'd said our wedding vows. And they allowed him to take over! They allowed him to sentence my sister to death. They allowed him to rise to our throne and take control. They never even doubted his claim or came to check on me. They just handed him the power as if Elsa and I didn't matter at all.
[ She tentatively glances up at Chloe. ] Is that...is that kind of what you are talking about?
[ Chloe had, at first, been pretty proud of her for making the connection by using the history of her mom and dad. The whole getting engaged first thing she remembered her sharing before, but the details, the result of it... That was new.
It was probably for the best Hans wasn't in Deerington at the moment, because the look on her face was probably one of somebody ready to go and stab a bitch. Her jaw is tight and her fist that she had at some point gone to lean her mouth against was clenched hard enough to make her knuckles white because fuck these guys. Hans for being a clear as shit sociopath, but also the men just willing to hand over everything to him at the drop of a hat.
Don't get hooked by men devoid of emotion thinking they could just go around killing women to get what they wanted. You can do this. ]
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
[ Wow her voice is a little tight. She clears her throat, letting her hand fall back at her side and taking a deep breath. ]
I'm sorry that happened. Men can be real garbage, especially when they want power.
[ Anna knew on more than one level what it meant to be less than someone else. She'd often wondered what he role was in her parent's life, in Elsa's life, in Arendelle's life. Of course she had her place now, but those feelings of inadequacy had left their mark. She still had very bad dreams about Hans, and the heavy burden of feeling completely and utterly unloved and forgotten.
She didn't let those wounds or fears define her, but it was easy enough to see where the line was drawn between men and women. Arendelle in all its peaceful hospitality and bounty was not free from it.
The conversation made Anna realize how much harder she might have to fight to be taken seriously. And would they turn to Kristoff when she was pregnant and less capable of handling all the details. He was certainly being trained for that. Thankfully he was not power hungry and he'd never defy or go against her judgment. ]
Well, they have their regrets. Elsa cut off trade with certain nations and Hans was severely punished, so others nations know to take us seriously.
[ She looked over at her hardworking and good hearted fiance, the future King of Arendelle. ]
Thankfully, for all the trouble, I found myself one of the best. He always lets me lead. When we do have children, if I'm forced to bedrest or caring for a newborn, he'll let me rule from bed if need be. He's going to be a good King.
And for what you said about children, it's silly to care so much about lineage. The royal bloodline that my grandfather cared so much about was directly changed when my father married my mother, who was not only a commoner but from a bloodline that my grandfather despised. Kristoff is a commoner too, and so our children will be even less from the royal line of Arendelle and more from its commoners. I think that's a good thing.
[ She lets out a sigh. ] I hate to think I'm saving myself to fit into a child bearing expectation. Though, even my sister expected I'd be the one to have heirs to the throne, because she flat out refused the court! But really, if two people are in love, they should trust each other enough to know any children who cone from them are their own.
[ Chloe's quiet for a good moment. There's an envy in being able to punish the people who hurt you. That Elsa and Anna could do something to make Hans regret it, to make the dignitaries grovel, and that she got some kind of justice from it all. She hates that it makes her jealous, but how could it not? Her hand absent-mindedly rests against her stomach, feeling the small knot of scar tissue just below her rib cage.
It must be nice. But she doesn't know how to say that without sounding like a bitch, and if there's one thing Chloe has learned here, it's that taking out her own darkness on others doesn't help anything at all. It just makes everything worse. ]
Sounds like you'll get your happy ending then.
[ It comes out a little quieter than she wants it to, her throat feeling tight. How did they get here again? ]
[ Not unlike Chloe, Anna was good at people. She had a natural talent for picking up on the subtleties that others give off, so it's not lost on her that something is bothering Chloe.
Anna won't argue whether she deserves it or not, she still hasn't told Chloe the extent to which she's been troubled. But she gets the feeling that the attention should be redirected. ]
[ Chloe's first reaction at the question is to freeze for a second. She bites her lip, staring at her lap rather than at Anna, forehead creased as she tries to figure out what to say. ]
I'm fine. [ It comes out on instinct, the same way it always has, like some sort of tick that she can't get rid of. Chloe's quiet again for a second before she goes to grab her bag. ] I should—
[ Go. She should go. She even goes to stand like she might, turning back towards the house, but not quite leaving. Was that really fair after all Anna had opened up to her about? Telling her about her sister, her heart, Hans... She bites her lip, not turning around, but not moving forward, either. ]
... I um... [ God, how is it so hard to speak honestly even after all these years of practice? ] You're... lucky. Not— Not just about your love life being picture perfect now or whatever, but... All of it. It's—
[ She clenches her jaw, closing her eyes, glad she's not looking at her so she doesn't have to try to make her expression neutral. ]
Before here, every man I met just... hurt me. Eventually. I don't mean like some bullshit fight or whatever, but really hurt me. And none of them— None of them ever had to pay for it. No one got punished, not really. They just got to go on with their lives, go to other towns, other schools, make something of themselves, or... whatever... And I'm just— I'm some poor fucking nobody with no power to do anything to change it, stuck in a piece of shit town that's falling apart around me and I'll never get out.
[ She bites the inside of her cheek, sighing deeply. ]
I'm sorry. I know it's a stupid fucking thing to be envious of. I know that even if you got to see someone pay, it doesn't make the pain of what was done go away. But it... It must... At least make something better, knowing that he had to suffer consequences for his actions.
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no subject
[ That was probably the most honest she's ever been about her own sexual experiences in her life. ]
Look, it doesn't matter what his... size is, there are ways to adjust. I'm telling you. I thought it was supposed to hurt my first time too and because everyone told me that was normal, I didn't realize that how painful it was was actually really fucked up. You don't need to suffer through it. If something genuinely hurts, you tell him to stop.
[ She lets go of her hands finally, leaning back a little in her chair. ]
I'll get you some books, if you want. With like... tips and info or whatever. They'll probably explain it with a lot more neutral language than I can. I know I'm, like, a walking pop culture reference that is way ahead of your time.
no subject
That's one thing I don't have to worry about from him. If he so much as sees me wince, he'll stop immediately.
[ She doesn't understand what Chloe means by 'pop culture' but she can assume it has something to do with the way she puts things because she definitely understand the 'reference' part. ]
Thank you. That would be...good.
Uh...what kinds of tips do they give?
no subject
[ She tries to remember what all those old sex books her mom had initially "accidentally" left out for her to find had said about it. She's sure the Joy of Sex or whatever else is probably the most up to date thing she'd really find in this town. ]
Mmm, mostly like... how to make it more comfortable, different kinds of lead up activities you can do, positions that might work better than others... Basic stuff like that. There's usually a pretty good intro to how it all works in general, too. In case you weren't given the details on, y'know, the whole shebang.
no subject
You know, Kristoff has alluded to as much. He said he doesn't like the way some men talk about women. I mean, the wives in Arendelle seem happy, but they are very busy and we don't talk about sex, so I suppose I don't know for certain. All I know is, it won't be that for us.
[ She glances over towards Kristoff as she talks about positions, but only for a moment before realizing her thoughts are probably loud enough for Chloe to hear. ]
...I know a little about the lead up activities. It's...getting harder to...stick to those.
no subject
But it's... good. That you guys care about each other that much. It'll make it that much better when you finally cave. [ Which it sure sounds like Anna is wanting. She gives her a nudge with her elbow. ] It's just a dream world, right? What's the harm?
no subject
Yeeeesss. I have heard they like it...
[ Thankfully Anna is not easily offended by things and can allow it to roll off her shoulders. The peer pressure though is both received with welcome and hesitancy. ]
But waiting...I mean, giving in to temptation may prevent the wedding night from being...well...magical. [ She'd always been told how special a wedding night was. ]
no subject
Look, I never plan on getting married so maybe my opinion is shit, but I think your wedding night isn't gonna be any more or less special if you sleep together before or after it. It's supposed to be about love, right? And that feeling... It just gets stronger every time you get to be with someone like that.
[ She shrugs, feeling a blush starting at her nose that she tries desperately to keep from spreading. Thinking about Max and the intimacy she'd had with her had that outcome usually and it was hard to not when she was talking about this particular kind of thing. ]
I'm not sayin' you gotta do anything, that's on you two and what you feel is right. But don't let some arbitrary rules made up be a bunch of power hungry men limit your possibilities.
no subject
I guess it does seem kind of weird, I mean if the wedding night is the most special time of all, then...what about after?
[ She wasn't quite sure what power hungry men had to do with it. ]
It's men's fault we have to wait to the wedding night?
no subject
[ The second question gets a laugh out of her, forgetting that those sorts of things might come as a surprise. ]
Stupid rules are almost always the fault of men. Think about it; when a woman has a kid, everyone automatically knows it's hers, right? So the best way to keep track of a family should be through the mother's family line. But men wanted to be in charge of property and laws and all this other shit, so they decided it was better to trace it down through their families. The only way they can do that is if they can cut down the chances of a baby being some other dude's. Which meeeeans... no sex until you belong to one person.
Get it?
no subject
She swallows as her head is full of the contradictions and she brings a finger up to her mouth to chew at her nail. Her head is a spiral into situations and ideas that are less than fair and it's a trip to consider them. She finally frees her finger and looks back at Chloe. ]
I...never thought about it that way. But it makes sense. From the time I was born, I was raised to know my father's history and the pure bloodline I descended from. My mother comes from another very old family, but she hid her lineage; and she kind of had to. But that's another story. Either way, my father was in charge. I imagine they would have wanted a boy, but Elsa and I were never considered less as far as I know.
You know, another thing is that...when I was younger, I met this guy and sort of thought it was immediately true love, so I kind of immediately got engaged to him...like...that night. My sister didn't like the idea of that and in an argument her ice powers kind of went crazy and she froze over all of Arendelle in an eternal winter. I went up the mountain to save her, and I left my fiance in charge.
I told you that whole frozen heart thing, but anyway, long story short Kristoff got me back to the castle thinking Hans could cure me. But he showed his true colors and left me to...die.
[ Her eyes go empty for a second as she remembers the situation, but she shakes her head and goes on. ]
My point is that, I found out after everything that he'd gone to a group of dignitaries and royals, convinced them I was dead and told them we'd said our wedding vows. And they allowed him to take over! They allowed him to sentence my sister to death. They allowed him to rise to our throne and take control. They never even doubted his claim or came to check on me. They just handed him the power as if Elsa and I didn't matter at all.
[ She tentatively glances up at Chloe. ] Is that...is that kind of what you are talking about?
no subject
It was probably for the best Hans wasn't in Deerington at the moment, because the look on her face was probably one of somebody ready to go and stab a bitch. Her jaw is tight and her fist that she had at some point gone to lean her mouth against was clenched hard enough to make her knuckles white because fuck these guys. Hans for being a clear as shit sociopath, but also the men just willing to hand over everything to him at the drop of a hat.
Don't get hooked by men devoid of emotion thinking they could just go around killing women to get what they wanted. You can do this. ]
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
[ Wow her voice is a little tight. She clears her throat, letting her hand fall back at her side and taking a deep breath. ]
I'm sorry that happened. Men can be real garbage, especially when they want power.
no subject
She didn't let those wounds or fears define her, but it was easy enough to see where the line was drawn between men and women. Arendelle in all its peaceful hospitality and bounty was not free from it.
The conversation made Anna realize how much harder she might have to fight to be taken seriously. And would they turn to Kristoff when she was pregnant and less capable of handling all the details. He was certainly being trained for that. Thankfully he was not power hungry and he'd never defy or go against her judgment. ]
Well, they have their regrets. Elsa cut off trade with certain nations and Hans was severely punished, so others nations know to take us seriously.
[ She looked over at her hardworking and good hearted fiance, the future King of Arendelle. ]
Thankfully, for all the trouble, I found myself one of the best. He always lets me lead. When we do have children, if I'm forced to bedrest or caring for a newborn, he'll let me rule from bed if need be. He's going to be a good King.
And for what you said about children, it's silly to care so much about lineage. The royal bloodline that my grandfather cared so much about was directly changed when my father married my mother, who was not only a commoner but from a bloodline that my grandfather despised. Kristoff is a commoner too, and so our children will be even less from the royal line of Arendelle and more from its commoners. I think that's a good thing.
[ She lets out a sigh. ] I hate to think I'm saving myself to fit into a child bearing expectation. Though, even my sister expected I'd be the one to have heirs to the throne, because she flat out refused the court! But really, if two people are in love, they should trust each other enough to know any children who cone from them are their own.
no subject
It must be nice. But she doesn't know how to say that without sounding like a bitch, and if there's one thing Chloe has learned here, it's that taking out her own darkness on others doesn't help anything at all. It just makes everything worse. ]
Sounds like you'll get your happy ending then.
[ It comes out a little quieter than she wants it to, her throat feeling tight. How did they get here again? ]
You seem like you deserve it.
no subject
[ Not unlike Chloe, Anna was good at people. She had a natural talent for picking up on the subtleties that others give off, so it's not lost on her that something is bothering Chloe.
Anna won't argue whether she deserves it or not, she still hasn't told Chloe the extent to which she's been troubled. But she gets the feeling that the attention should be redirected. ]
Something's bothering you? Wanna talk about it?
no subject
I'm fine. [ It comes out on instinct, the same way it always has, like some sort of tick that she can't get rid of. Chloe's quiet again for a second before she goes to grab her bag. ] I should—
[ Go. She should go. She even goes to stand like she might, turning back towards the house, but not quite leaving. Was that really fair after all Anna had opened up to her about? Telling her about her sister, her heart, Hans... She bites her lip, not turning around, but not moving forward, either. ]
... I um... [ God, how is it so hard to speak honestly even after all these years of practice? ] You're... lucky. Not— Not just about your love life being picture perfect now or whatever, but... All of it. It's—
[ She clenches her jaw, closing her eyes, glad she's not looking at her so she doesn't have to try to make her expression neutral. ]
Before here, every man I met just... hurt me. Eventually. I don't mean like some bullshit fight or whatever, but really hurt me. And none of them— None of them ever had to pay for it. No one got punished, not really. They just got to go on with their lives, go to other towns, other schools, make something of themselves, or... whatever... And I'm just— I'm some poor fucking nobody with no power to do anything to change it, stuck in a piece of shit town that's falling apart around me and I'll never get out.
[ She bites the inside of her cheek, sighing deeply. ]
I'm sorry. I know it's a stupid fucking thing to be envious of. I know that even if you got to see someone pay, it doesn't make the pain of what was done go away. But it... It must... At least make something better, knowing that he had to suffer consequences for his actions.