[ Well, sounds like he'll have to send Shiro a "hey guess you were right" message at some point. That should be fun.
His shoulders slump just slightly when she admits to it, though his face looks relieved that she's at least being honest. He couldn't deny that being an iceman had been one of the most fulfilling things in his life, something that connected deeply with a part of him he couldn't quite explain.
But so did Anna. And that part of him took up a lot more space. ]
Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean that it's the only thing that will make me happy. I knew being with you meant making big changes. I'm not going to regret any of them when it means I get to be by your side.
[ He squeezes her hands, making sure to not lose eye contact with her while he talks. ]
I wasn't going to keep harvesting even if you'd stayed a princess. There are more important reasons now that I'll be King, but I'd already told them it was going to be my last winter.
[ She holds his eye contact, letting it add to the reassurance. It really should make her feel better, but this is hard. In some ways, she hasn't fully acknowledged everything that's changed in her own life. There are freedoms that she no longer has and it's so fresh all she can think about it is 'what would Elsa do'. ]
I thought about encouraging you to keep working, why do you think being a king needs to stop you? Kristoff, all of this means more to me than I could ever even put into words, but sometimes it must feel like from the time we've met I have been dragging you along with me.
[ At that she looks to the side. ]
I don't want to be your leader, or you one of my followers. Even in the enchanted forest, I just...followed my own path and forgot I had someone who needed to be with me.
[ He shook his head at her words, moving slightly closer to her on the sofa, feeling his leg press against hers to add to the comfort he knew came with that kind of contact. ]
Anna... As much as I'm always willing to follow you, I don't think of you like that. I know that when it comes down to everything, we're partners in all of this. It's not dragging me if I'm making the choices myself. I knew you were a princess, I knew that came with expectations and things you couldn't just walk away from. And that's okay.
[ He paused, lifting one of his hands to tap her chin, hoping it would get her to look back to him. ]
You know as well as I do that ice harvesting isn't particularly safe. It would be selfish of me to go off for weeks at a time and keep putting myself in danger when we'll have a country to think of. There are too many risks, from my being out of contact with the kingdom to something happening and you being left alone before we even have kids. I can't rightfully put ice before Arendelle. Before... you.
[ He put one of his hands on her shoulders, knowing thinking about him in danger would likely unsteady her to begin with. ]
I love you more than I've ever loved ice. We could give up the crown and I still wouldn't go back to it. I don't want to be away from you anymore.
[ She moved in a bit closer almost instinctually as he did. It was only natural to want to be in contact with him; a desire that was only growing.
When he taps her chin, she does look back up at him. Her eyes are a little glossy like she could cry, but she doesn't. ]
I can't walk away from them, but these years we've been courting, which obviously that's what we doing, but at least I had ideas of what we'd be doing. My role was less critical and I knew what it was.
[ Who was she kidding, before the Nattmara she wasn't sure at all what her place was in her family's reign. But she had never considered it would turn out her place was to take Elsa's. It's a lot and like everything she dove into it rather than thinking through what it all meant. ]
I understand that you weren't exactly safe out there and I can't say that I'm upset at no longer having to worry about you for weeks at a time, but I don't know if I'd call it selfish.
[ But when he talks about loving her more than ice and that he was going to give it up no matter who she was, meant a lot to her. A tear rolls down her cheek. ]
Really? You gave up ice because you don't want to be away from me? Not because of the position or your importance, but because you miss me too much?
[ He knows that she's overestimating how sure she was; he remembered the nights she'd stayed up studying the different countries in order to try and prove herself to Elsa, the times that she had wondered aloud to him if she was just good for throwing parties and nothing else, the moments he'd watched as she enviously watched Elsa be what he knew Anna thought was the perfect Queen.
But he doesn't call her out on it. He figures it's not important anymore how she views her role as a princess. Not when it's not what she has to do anymore.
He reaches up to brush away her tears with the pad of his thumb, giving her a soft smile. ]
Of course I was. I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire time I was gone. And you know how much the other icemen love it when you're not paying attention. [ That bit is definitely said with plenty of sarcasm. ] I guess that's when I realized I should propose. I couldn't stand going that long without seeing you anymore.
[ He swallows, before deciding to return to her other point, his voice a little more serious. ]
And finding out you wanted me to be King only made that decision more important. Because it is selfish. I can't leave Arendelle with almost no way of contacting me for that long a period of time. What if something happened to you? It would take too long to get me, too long for me to get back— it would leave the kingdom vulnerable. Or if something happened to me before we had children, and the kingdom didn't have an heir... You'd have to remarry, quickly, probably, and you know it would end up being political instead of for love. Those aren't things that I can risk once we're married.
Sorry. [ It's a whisper as he brushes the tears from falling.
She hadn't considered that he'd be so distracted by her out while doing his work with ice. Maybe she should have, she could get distracted. There were so many times, she'd be curled on a window seat of the study reading and gotten lost staring out into a winter storm and thinking about him only to find she'd lost an hour or more. It brings a smile to her eyes and she reaches out with one hand to press it to his cheek. ]
I guess I should have known that, it happened to me all the time. I guess in my case, there's no risk in daydreaming from a window.
[ The way he talked about being King, the knowledge of his responsibilities, proved that he was more prepared than he seemed to believe. She knew he was meant for the role. ]
Even I didn't think of all of that. Look at you... [ The look in her eyes exudes love even as her eyes water. ] I'm so proud of you. You catch what I miss, see how much I need you?
[ He leaned his head into her touch, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the warmth of it. It was nice to hear she thought of him just as much as he did about her. He knew it already, of course, but it still filled him up with a sense of joy and gratitude that someone like her had decided to love someone like him.
He reopens his eyes when she mentions being proud of him, his forehead wrinkling slightly. He still couldn't see it, no matter how hard he tried, but he wanted to believe the faith she had in him. ]
We're always better as a team, right? I just... listened to what my tutors were saying about all the things expected of me and I guess I realized how much it didn't fit the life I had before us. Which isn't bad. Things have just changed. And sometimes that means having to figure out what still fits... and what doesn't.
[ She gives a little nod. They were better together, she'd learned that once again in the forest.
He continues to make such good points. These were things that she was learning too. ]
Olaf was right, it does seem like everything is changing. I guess it is. I wasn't expecting any of this. I'm trying to figure out how to fit too. No matter what, I'm glad that I still fit into your plan and your dreams.
[ He gave a small smile, leaning over enough so that he could put his hand behind her neck, and press a kiss against her lips. He lingers for a second, before pulling back, resting his forehead against hers. ]
[ Anna had always loved how large his hands were, it made her feel safe and warm when they were on her. As for his lips, she'd spend hours kissing him if time and situation allowed for it. She gives a little sigh when he pulls away, but rests her head against his. ]
Likewise, no matter what. I know I tell you this often, but, I really feel so blessed and grateful that you are walking this new path with me.
[ Her smile widened as she was pulled towards his lap, so naturally, she assisted until she was fully curled up on his lap. She let her head fall to rest on his shoulder. With everything that was going on it was a nice place to be and a safety washed over her that seemed more elusive these days. ]
Deal. I'll stop worrying about how you feel about becoming a king, and you can just talk to me when you feel overwhelmed. And I'll continue to make sure Gerda takes your neck into consideration when making your outfits.
[ She felt like she molded into his arms, entirely fitting against him. The feeling of him stroking her hair made her hum gently as she thought about his question. ]
I'm... [ Honesty Anna, this was about honesty. ] I'm getting there. It's been a lot to adjust to, it's not something I was expecting. But hey, that's why rulers have more than one child, right? And I know it's the right thing to do.
I thought they had more than one kid because they liked having a family. [ Look, he's had some royal education, but he's still got hopes for some things. ] Right thing or not, if you're worried or upset, you can tell me.
They did. But there is more to it than just the love of children and family. It gets a little more complicated when it comes to royalty. Not every kingdom is like Arendelle, and honestly the bounty in Arendelle would be highly sought after if something happened to me or Elsa. It's the same reason you don't want to harvest ice anymore. A royal family is only as secure as their lineage. Wars happen without heirs.
You know, not every kingdom even allows girls to rule. Boys are usually preferable. Luckily Arendelle isn't so strict, but anyway... [ She took a moment to breathe in his scent and the warmth of him and let out a shaky sigh. ] My parents had Elsa, but they strengthened the line by having me.
There were times during my childhood where Elsa was so heavily the focus that I sometimes wondered if I was just...a spare. Someone else who could take the throne. I didn't know why else they would spend so much time with her. Sure, they loved me and I loved them, but my family was very... [ broken ] separated. It was easy to think... [ no one wanted me ] she was more important.
[ She chose her words carefully, they were still honest, but less dark then some of the thoughts she could sometimes spiral into. She had the whole picture now, but it had been painful. Focusing on the happier times and what was happening now was better. ]
So here I am, the younger daughter stepping into Elsa's role. It's not that I'm upset about it. I actually feel like finally I'm able to take a bigger part in helping the people of Arendelle, I don't know how to sort it all out in my own head. I'm a mess when it comes to the paperwork and the advisors are always having to snap me back to attention. I still wake up too late and I'm hardly...graceful. I don't know how to be Elsa or do what she did. What if I can't do what she did, or what the spirits apparently want me to do. Why did they even choose me? And...I...I miss her...
[ He listens without interrupting, much as he wants to in some parts. To tell her she's not a spare anything, to reassure her about her role in her family right from the start. But he knows these are all feelings he can't change for her. That just because she understands now doesn't mean the pain of the past would disappear so easily.
So instead, he hugs her tightly to him for a moment, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. There's a part of him that was frustrated with all of this just being thrust on her without any real discussion, but it was a part he quieted often enough, because at the end of the day, it didn't matter. It was what it was. ]
You don't have to be Elsa. There's a reason she said you were what was right for Arendelle. You'll have help with papers and maybe some meetings are gonna have to be done differently to keep you focused, but different isn't bad. You've been doing so much for Arendelle for so long, helping your sister, being the one who really engages with people and warms them to the throne. You were chosen because you have a real gift, Anna. You're a natural leader, even if you can't see that in yourself.
[ He squeezes again, letting out a sigh. ]
I know it'll be hard without her. But I promise, no matter what, you won't be alone in this.
[ Her thoughts as far as her family goes have always been a bit of a confusing topic. There was love, a lot of it, especially earlier on. That had faded a lot after...well, she supposes after Elsa had struck her with ice, but the paranoia felt so pointless to her now.
The tender kiss to her head brings her out of her thoughts and she smiles and nestles against him. ]
I know, and I know I never could be. I try to remind myself that I've done so much on my own. In reality I suppose I've done far more on my own then with her, but it just feels like I've always taken up the space in her shadow.
I guess it's true that I tend to have an easier time navigating a crowd. Though, what I wouldn't give for an ounce of her grace! But at least I didn't trip during my coronation.
[ He gives a small laugh at the comment on grace, because he can't say that he would've been surprised if she had tripped. ]
No one wants you to be anyone but yourself. Clumsiness and all. If you can survive the North Mountain, the Enchanted Forest, and Prince Hans, I think you can do just about anything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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His shoulders slump just slightly when she admits to it, though his face looks relieved that she's at least being honest. He couldn't deny that being an iceman had been one of the most fulfilling things in his life, something that connected deeply with a part of him he couldn't quite explain.
But so did Anna. And that part of him took up a lot more space. ]
Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean that it's the only thing that will make me happy. I knew being with you meant making big changes. I'm not going to regret any of them when it means I get to be by your side.
[ He squeezes her hands, making sure to not lose eye contact with her while he talks. ]
I wasn't going to keep harvesting even if you'd stayed a princess. There are more important reasons now that I'll be King, but I'd already told them it was going to be my last winter.
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I thought about encouraging you to keep working, why do you think being a king needs to stop you? Kristoff, all of this means more to me than I could ever even put into words, but sometimes it must feel like from the time we've met I have been dragging you along with me.
[ At that she looks to the side. ]
I don't want to be your leader, or you one of my followers. Even in the enchanted forest, I just...followed my own path and forgot I had someone who needed to be with me.
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Anna... As much as I'm always willing to follow you, I don't think of you like that. I know that when it comes down to everything, we're partners in all of this. It's not dragging me if I'm making the choices myself. I knew you were a princess, I knew that came with expectations and things you couldn't just walk away from. And that's okay.
[ He paused, lifting one of his hands to tap her chin, hoping it would get her to look back to him. ]
You know as well as I do that ice harvesting isn't particularly safe. It would be selfish of me to go off for weeks at a time and keep putting myself in danger when we'll have a country to think of. There are too many risks, from my being out of contact with the kingdom to something happening and you being left alone before we even have kids. I can't rightfully put ice before Arendelle. Before... you.
[ He put one of his hands on her shoulders, knowing thinking about him in danger would likely unsteady her to begin with. ]
I love you more than I've ever loved ice. We could give up the crown and I still wouldn't go back to it. I don't want to be away from you anymore.
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When he taps her chin, she does look back up at him. Her eyes are a little glossy like she could cry, but she doesn't. ]
I can't walk away from them, but these years we've been courting, which obviously that's what we doing, but at least I had ideas of what we'd be doing. My role was less critical and I knew what it was.
[ Who was she kidding, before the Nattmara she wasn't sure at all what her place was in her family's reign. But she had never considered it would turn out her place was to take Elsa's. It's a lot and like everything she dove into it rather than thinking through what it all meant. ]
I understand that you weren't exactly safe out there and I can't say that I'm upset at no longer having to worry about you for weeks at a time, but I don't know if I'd call it selfish.
[ But when he talks about loving her more than ice and that he was going to give it up no matter who she was, meant a lot to her. A tear rolls down her cheek. ]
Really? You gave up ice because you don't want to be away from me? Not because of the position or your importance, but because you miss me too much?
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But he doesn't call her out on it. He figures it's not important anymore how she views her role as a princess. Not when it's not what she has to do anymore.
He reaches up to brush away her tears with the pad of his thumb, giving her a soft smile. ]
Of course I was. I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire time I was gone. And you know how much the other icemen love it when you're not paying attention. [ That bit is definitely said with plenty of sarcasm. ] I guess that's when I realized I should propose. I couldn't stand going that long without seeing you anymore.
[ He swallows, before deciding to return to her other point, his voice a little more serious. ]
And finding out you wanted me to be King only made that decision more important. Because it is selfish. I can't leave Arendelle with almost no way of contacting me for that long a period of time. What if something happened to you? It would take too long to get me, too long for me to get back— it would leave the kingdom vulnerable. Or if something happened to me before we had children, and the kingdom didn't have an heir... You'd have to remarry, quickly, probably, and you know it would end up being political instead of for love. Those aren't things that I can risk once we're married.
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She hadn't considered that he'd be so distracted by her out while doing his work with ice. Maybe she should have, she could get distracted. There were so many times, she'd be curled on a window seat of the study reading and gotten lost staring out into a winter storm and thinking about him only to find she'd lost an hour or more. It brings a smile to her eyes and she reaches out with one hand to press it to his cheek. ]
I guess I should have known that, it happened to me all the time. I guess in my case, there's no risk in daydreaming from a window.
[ The way he talked about being King, the knowledge of his responsibilities, proved that he was more prepared than he seemed to believe. She knew he was meant for the role. ]
Even I didn't think of all of that. Look at you... [ The look in her eyes exudes love even as her eyes water. ] I'm so proud of you. You catch what I miss, see how much I need you?
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[ He leaned his head into her touch, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the warmth of it. It was nice to hear she thought of him just as much as he did about her. He knew it already, of course, but it still filled him up with a sense of joy and gratitude that someone like her had decided to love someone like him.
He reopens his eyes when she mentions being proud of him, his forehead wrinkling slightly. He still couldn't see it, no matter how hard he tried, but he wanted to believe the faith she had in him. ]
We're always better as a team, right? I just... listened to what my tutors were saying about all the things expected of me and I guess I realized how much it didn't fit the life I had before us. Which isn't bad. Things have just changed. And sometimes that means having to figure out what still fits... and what doesn't.
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He continues to make such good points. These were things that she was learning too. ]
Olaf was right, it does seem like everything is changing. I guess it is. I wasn't expecting any of this. I'm trying to figure out how to fit too. No matter what, I'm glad that I still fit into your plan and your dreams.
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You'll always fit. No matter what.
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Likewise, no matter what. I know I tell you this often, but, I really feel so blessed and grateful that you are walking this new path with me.
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And like I say every time, it's me who feels like the lucky one. So no more worrying about what I'm giving up, okay?
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Deal. I'll stop worrying about how you feel about becoming a king, and you can just talk to me when you feel overwhelmed. And I'll continue to make sure Gerda takes your neck into consideration when making your outfits.
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[ He wraps his arms around her to more comfortably hold her against him, making sure to position one hand so that he can gently stroke her hair. ]
What about you? Are you ... okay with everything?
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I'm... [ Honesty Anna, this was about honesty. ] I'm getting there. It's been a lot to adjust to, it's not something I was expecting. But hey, that's why rulers have more than one child, right?
And I know it's the right thing to do.
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You know, not every kingdom even allows girls to rule. Boys are usually preferable. Luckily Arendelle isn't so strict, but anyway... [ She took a moment to breathe in his scent and the warmth of him and let out a shaky sigh. ] My parents had Elsa, but they strengthened the line by having me.
There were times during my childhood where Elsa was so heavily the focus that I sometimes wondered if I was just...a spare. Someone else who could take the throne. I didn't know why else they would spend so much time with her. Sure, they loved me and I loved them, but my family was very... [ broken ] separated. It was easy to think... [ no one wanted me ] she was more important.
[ She chose her words carefully, they were still honest, but less dark then some of the thoughts she could sometimes spiral into. She had the whole picture now, but it had been painful. Focusing on the happier times and what was happening now was better. ]
So here I am, the younger daughter stepping into Elsa's role. It's not that I'm upset about it. I actually feel like finally I'm able to take a bigger part in helping the people of Arendelle, I don't know how to sort it all out in my own head. I'm a mess when it comes to the paperwork and the advisors are always having to snap me back to attention. I still wake up too late and I'm hardly...graceful. I don't know how to be Elsa or do what she did. What if I can't do what she did, or what the spirits apparently want me to do. Why did they even choose me? And...I...I miss her...
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So instead, he hugs her tightly to him for a moment, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. There's a part of him that was frustrated with all of this just being thrust on her without any real discussion, but it was a part he quieted often enough, because at the end of the day, it didn't matter. It was what it was. ]
You don't have to be Elsa. There's a reason she said you were what was right for Arendelle. You'll have help with papers and maybe some meetings are gonna have to be done differently to keep you focused, but different isn't bad. You've been doing so much for Arendelle for so long, helping your sister, being the one who really engages with people and warms them to the throne. You were chosen because you have a real gift, Anna. You're a natural leader, even if you can't see that in yourself.
[ He squeezes again, letting out a sigh. ]
I know it'll be hard without her. But I promise, no matter what, you won't be alone in this.
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The tender kiss to her head brings her out of her thoughts and she smiles and nestles against him. ]
I know, and I know I never could be. I try to remind myself that I've done so much on my own. In reality I suppose I've done far more on my own then with her, but it just feels like I've always taken up the space in her shadow.
I guess it's true that I tend to have an easier time navigating a crowd. Though, what I wouldn't give for an ounce of her grace! But at least I didn't trip during my coronation.
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No one wants you to be anyone but yourself. Clumsiness and all. If you can survive the North Mountain, the Enchanted Forest, and Prince Hans, I think you can do just about anything.
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Maybe I'm just like a cat with nine lives!
[ Since basically she'd only narrowly escaped death in all of those things. ]
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1/3
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You're teasing me again.
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