It's okay. I mean, she wasn't— I don't think she did it on purpose, I was— [ Overwhelmed more than anything, but he's got too many thoughts racing through his head, details and doubts that are piling on top of each other, and he has to take a second to take a deep breath. Had it been unfair? He couldn't really tell. Over-empathizing, over-understanding... ]
She wasn't thinking. If I'd asked her to stop, she would have, I think. And I'm sure she'd tell me she was sorry if I brought it up, she's... a good person. It was just unfamiliar.
[ He knows he probably shouldn't be excusing anything either way; his own reaction of not speaking up or Usagi's assumptions that cuddling up with him was perfectly acceptable.
And he stops himself from it when he hears her say she wasn't okay with it. He looks up at the feed again, his forehead creasing. Of course he'd want her to be okay with it, but not because he told her to be. He just hated the thought of something he'd done genuinely upsetting her. He sighs, rubbing his forehead, before letting his hands drop back down to his sides. ]
Of course it's okay if you don't like it, Anna. I'm— I'm sorry. I was so worried about hurting her feelings or making her feel bad that I didn't stop to think about how it might actually upset you. I don't want you to pretend it's alright if it actually bothers you. I want you to be honest with me, too.
[ Anna had such a mix of emotions that she wasn't entirely sure how to process them all. She was a woman who gave just about everyone the benefit of the doubt, sometimes to her own detriment. She could rationalize a situation well enough to typically look on the bright side and was extremely forgiving.
On the other hand, she was consistently at the mercy of her feelings and Kristoff spending time privately with another woman with any closeness made her unsettled. It left her with the same anxiety that she'd felt when she'd started to think that he was trying to break up with in the enchanted forest rather than propose. She had a ring now, so she knew the reality, but she'd been engaged before so engagement was something that didn't feel quite as confirming as it should. At least not when she was having so many feelings.
Looking down, she toys with her engagement ring, spinning it around and trying to get facts to overpower fear. And not just fear, she felt disturbed, even angry. Angry that it had happened, angry that she was jealous, and angry that Kristoff was defending a situation that had obviously made him uncomfortable enough to worry about how she would see it. If it hadn't made him uncomfortable, he wouldn't have told her because he wouldn't think it a big enough deal to tell her.
Her lack of words is a strong indication of how much it's affecting her, but she tries to figure out which part to address first. Finally she takes a deep breath, not unlike she would when she's exhausted during a meeting and interrupting to call order. ]
First of all, I like Usagi, but she's an adult, same as you and I. She is responsible for her own actions, and she doesn't need anyone rushing to her defense or making excuses for her.
[ The truth was that Anna didn't want to hear him defend her at that particular moment. ]
Whether purposeful or not, she put us in an awkward situation, and obviously it made you uncomfortable enough that you felt the need to come to me and tell me and then proceed to defend it. So it's not fine. And it's not unfamiliar to you, you and I do that all the time. But that's the problem, isn't it?
So how about before we get into how I feel, you tell me honestly what was going on in your head while you were watching a movie in private with a woman who isn't me relying on you for emotional and physical comfort. Because I have a feeling, however you felt, you weren't focused much on the plot movie. [ And she wanted to be the only one to distract him from the plots of movies. ]
I wasn't—! [ He starts his objection, but it dies before he can even get it fully out. She was right, he was defending her when he shouldn't have. Not wanting to hurt her wasn't something that should excuse the whole thing, no matter how much he might want it to. So he doesn't pick it back up, keeping his eyes averted instead, the way he usually did when he wasn't handling his emotions in the best of ways.
What was going on in your head... He feels his shoulders tense, like somehow that's the worst question he could have been asked. Could he even really remember the whole plot of the movie? Bits and pieces stood out, but they weren't coherent, and he only had the vague sense of having found it had an at least somewhat enjoyable plotline. He rubs the back of his neck, his forehead wrinkling deeply, and he feels like he wants to say they should forget the whole thing, like that will somehow help.
He pinches the brim of his nose in frustration. He's trying to quiet the voice in his head that wants to say he should have known better, he should have said something, he shouldn't have let Usagi just rest on him without moving like it was all okay, that it's his fault and that Anna can clearly see that because otherwise she wouldn't be using that Royal Tone with him, right? He knows that that isn't rational, that he's beating himself up because of his own feelings of failure than because of anyone else seeing them that way, but it's a hard trap to not fall into. ]
I... [ He trails off without having even really started, biting down on his tongue, lips pursed, before he forces himself to try again. ] I don't know. I was confused. I was... Overwhelmed? I didn't know what to think about it. I knew back home it would be bad, that if someone saw us they'd start a dozen rumors about just one, innocent thing. But everyone here is so much more open about these things. It's normal to them. They touch all the time. I feel like I'm the weird one when it gets to be too much because no one else seems to be bothered by it, why should I? I—
I guess I was telling myself I was overreacting and that I like affection, I like when you and Elsa hug me or cuddle against me, so it's stupid that being around people who are affectionate should make me feel like I'm— [ He stops, brows knitting even more deeply as he tries to figure out how to say it. ] It feels like... when someone pulls you out after you've fallen through the ice. When you feel like you've been suffocating and you want the warmth, but every touch is so sharp and painful and you just want it to stop because it's too much.
[ It's another time that Anna wishes there wasn't a screen between them. This was the kind of conversation that they might have in his sleigh or most recently in the privacy of one of their bedrooms. She considers offering to go to him, but that would also mean interrupting their conversation and he's being open, so she simply leans back on the bed they have been sharing and gives herself a moment to think.
Anna wasn't always the best at directly listening, but she takes in every word he says without interrupting. And when he's done, she isn't quite sure what to say.
At his metaphor about falling through ice, she offers a smile. ]
Oh Kristoff, it doesn't matter if every single person here is comfortable with something, if you aren't, you aren't required to be like that. They might touch all the time, but that doesn't mean they have to touch you. Maybe you'll adjust, but you do that on your time.
I mean, sweethert, flip the tables, what would you say to me if I felt uncomfortable with someone being so close to me. Would you excuse it? Or would you tell me that I didn't have to be touched in any way that I don't want to be? Please be as kind to yourself as you are to me.
Kristoff, I've always loved you for being so different, it's okay to be weird. We are weird, right?
[ He feels Sven nudge against his arm and he instinctively lifts it, putting his arm around the reindeer’s neck and scratching at his fur absentmindedly. It’s a comfort that he’s always had, something that keeps him grounded even when he’s risking getting lost in his own thoughts.
Anna’s right. He knows she’s right. He’d never want her to force herself into situations that made her feel overwhelmed. He wrinkles his forehead, his eyes focused off camera, while he tries to take in everything she said, to really hear it and take it to heart.
There’s a faint smile on his lips when she calls them weird and he gives a small nod. They certainly never followed social rules at home, why would they here. ]
No. I guess I wouldn’t excuse it. Maybe I’m overthinking it all.
[ He rests his head against Sven, closing his eyes and giving a deep sigh. ]
I love you, Anna. I’m sorry if any of this hurt you.
[ She watches him as best she can over the screen and when he responds, she can tell he's at least taken in what she's said. The smile helps to reassure her. ]
You aren't overthinking it, because it's a tough situation to be put in. No one should assume that anyone wants to be touched. It's not something that needs to be overthought, it's as simple as that. And if nothing was meant by it, then it's as simple as clearing it up and being honest about your boundaries.
I love you too. [ She says it back easily. It's hard for her to know how to respond. The last thing she wants is for him to feel guilt when she knows it was innocent, but it's tough. ]
I'm okay sweetheart. I'm not mad. I've just never had to share you so much before, and I feel... jealous. [ Her cheeks went pink, as she started playing with her engagement ring again, reminding her of that promise. ] I guess I'm a hypocrite, aren't I? It's not like you haven't watched men try for my attention.
[ Being honest about boundaries. He’s never had an issue with that before, right? Well... Actually... He just ran away into the woods and never talked to anyone instead. Woops. ]
I guess I never really learned how to do that, huh?
[ He gives a soft snort when she mentions her previous suitors, wrinkling his nose at the memories. Princes and dukes who thought they could get a chance for political alliances. ]
I didn’t always handle that well either. [ A beat before he adds with a small smirk. ] Though I didn’t have a ring on my finger then.
[ Anna had always had a few too many boundaries placed on her and too many limitations, so she wasn't always the best at figuring them out either. Even with her great people skills, they shared that a certain awkwardness in social situations. ]
You have time, and I see you improving in so many ways.
[ She laughed and her blush deepened. ] I tried to show you that you were the only one I wanted to put a ring on my finger. But I suppose I can see better why it may have been harder to attend formal events when I had to at least be cordial to them. But you were the only one I was ever alone with.
[ She can tell they are getting back onto the same page and it's reassuring to know they are seeing it the same way. ]
I'm sorry you ever felt jealous, I hope I've done enough to reassure you over the years.
So, with this new situation, what do we do? Neither one of us is obligated to do, say, or act in any way we don't want with another person. So I guess we just need to agree on what's okay and what's not.
I'm glad you trusted me, I worried about that some times. But yeah, some of those men were a little pushy.
[ Not to mention all the stuff with Hans.
She worries her bottom lip while she considers. ]
Well, it seems a little unreasonable to assume we'll never need to be alone with friends, male or female. So obviously, checking in on someone when sick is a fine thing. And sometimes people get hurt and you might need to carry someone, or hold someone then...
Maybe if it's something we would only do with each other back home, we avoid it here? Man, this is hard.
[ He listens to her suggestions, forehead creasing a little as he tries to think of how they would work; the last part seems reasonable, though, and he gives a nod. ]
I think... using what we would only do with each other might be a good base. Being alone with friends is always going to happen. I'm alone with Mako all the time and you've been alone with people too. It seems more like... what we do when we're alone that matters.
[ She nods. It does seem to be about what they do when alone with others versus each other. Still, Anna can't help but still be a little jealous. It's not fair, and she doesn't even understand why she's feeling that way. So naturally she tries to hide those feelings, even if he's probably failing. ]
That sounds like the easiest line to draw. I don't mind you being alone with anyone.
What if you are in the middle of something with someone else and I...need you?
[ He looks at the feed like she's just asked the most obviously answered question in the world, almost as if he can't quite believe she asked it, before his features soften considerably. Anna's worries always made her think like that, didn't they? ]
Then you message me and I drop whatever I'm doing and come find you.
[ She stares for a minute. It's the most obvious thing really. Of course she'd just message him and he'd come. But there is really more to it than just that. ]
You might be busy. You can't just drop everything you are doing to come home because I... [ feel insecure ] need you for something. You're the one supporting us here.
[ He really tied to stop himself from laughing, but he couldn't help it. It's not mocking, but the same chuckles he gives whenever she's said something that her finds somewhat adorable. ]
Supporting us? Anna, as long as we're working even a little, everything in this town practically is free. I can absolutely drop everything and come home to you whenever you need me.
[ Luckily over the years she's become quite adept at knowing Kristoff's different laughs, as well as all his other responses. ]
I...I know. I guess maybe I'm just not used to asking, so it's new. I've never wanted to interrupt anything in your life. Not your ice harvesting, not pushing you to attend parties, not even forcing you out of the barn. Though I am glad you are finally not sleeping in the barn...
Usually my life is so full of expectations and itinerary, and I'm used to you having to check in with me. Not, the other way around.
[ That sounds terrible and she flushes. ] I really am spoiled, aren't I? Even by you...
[ The look on his face at least doesn't change, even as she admits the worries she's been having out loud. The idea that she usually has so much to do, that she's never had to worry about seeking him out first, really...
He shrugs. ]
You're a princess— sorry, a queen. Of course you're spoiled.
[ His face softens slightly more, the adoration replaced with one of empathy. He knew how hard it could be to feel like you had to fight for someone's attention better than anyone, after all, and he knew how hard that could be on her after all the years of fighting for Elsa's. Maybe it was why he'd never made her fight for his before. ]
But you haven't always been. It's not like it was before, you know. If you knock, I'm always gonna open the door. [ He figures it's a bit more careful to phrase it that way than mentioning her sister outright here. ] I'm sorry things are so different. But I'm not more important than you are or more needed or doing more to support us. You're as much apart of this ice business as I am. You're the reason it exists. You're important, Anna, and you would be to me even if you weren't doing anything at all.
It's not interrupting when I say that I want you to contact me whenever you need to. And you wouldn't have been at home, either. Even if you'd pushed a little more.
[ She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to relax her nerves. Being spoiled wasn't something that she strove for, but it would have been as ridiculous to judge her on it as it would be to judge him for who he had become from his troll upbringing. ]
Either way, I know I'm not better for it and I see you as my equal. You always saw me as yours. My being a princess never changed the way you treated me.
[ The loving words go a long way towards soothing her concerns. Some people with no money had been far more spoiled in love and attention and freedom than she'd had. The blessings of life came in many forms, and perhaps that was what helped her understand people so well. She may have been spoiled, but she understood what it meant to not have what you wanted and needed. ]
A part of me really understands that. I guess life is just so different here and I was just getting used to changes at home, and now I have to get used to another place and another situation. I'm tired. I just want to plan a wedding and get used to my duties and have things return to some kind of normal. Instead we're stuck here, learning new customs and meeting people who live their lives in so many different ways.
I just don't want to be overbearing or tell you what to do, and I feel kind of...clingy.
[ She'd been that way with Elsa, when the doors had opened, and now without Elsa, she was clinging to Kristoff like he'd jump ship at any moment. ]
I guess, hearing you were curled up with another woman made me consider that you haven't ever explored romance with anyone but me. But I don't think you've had a lot of options. I'm not without my insecurities obviously. I mean, I assumed you might be looking for romance with someone else when you were trying to declare your undying love! I don't think my heart could tolerate losing you, and despite how much I know you love me, I still have nightmares about being told you don't love me.
[ She looks down, embarrassed to be so affected by it. ]
[ Kristoff could never be sure that not treating her like a princess from the start had been a good thing, but it had certainly set the tone for their relationship from the beginning. He was lucky she hadn't been one of those Off With Your Head type of royals with how he'd talked back to her, really.
While he'd had a somewhat amused smile on his face at the start, it changes, softens, eventually disappearing when she talks about her nightmares. Not for the first time, he wishes he could reach out and grab her hand, but maybe the video feed is what makes it easier to open up about it all. Like there's some kind of separation that makes it easier to be honest.
He bites on his lip for a moment, leaning back against Sven with his arms crossed over his chest. ]
I'm sorry you're still having nightmares. I know... what Hans did to you hurt you more deeply than probably any of us can imagine. [ He hesitates for a second, before pushing on, hoping he's at least close to saying the right words. ]
I could've explored romance if I wanted to, y'know. I just... didn't. Not having experience doesn't mean I don't know what I want. [ There's a pause before he corrects himself; ] Not that I think you were saying I don't know. But if you're scared because of my lack of exploration, you don't have to be. Wanting to explore romance with you was how I knew you were the one. I'd never have let you in otherwise.
[ He had planned on spending his life alone when it came down to it. Anna had just thrown a wrench in those plans by being irresistible, apparently. ]
At the end of the day, Hans wasn't your true love. And I am. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me.
[ He was saying the right words, even if they were the right words that she had so often heard; the reminder helps.
Her eyes look away from the feed as she thinks about what he's saying and she gives a little nod.
But she does look up when he mentions that he knew she was the one because he wanted to explore it with her. It's not like she thinks Kristoff is immune to the way women look or the desire for them, but she knows how dedicated he is to his work and how much energy he puts into it. She crashed into his small world and he had wanted her to stay and that meant something. And Hans wasn't her true love and she'd already started figuring that out even before he'd betrayed her.
She doesn't flinch at any of his words, or insert her own ideas, so she was improving. ]
I trust you. You know I trust you. Or if you think I don't, then we need to be having another conversation. [ Her tone hints at the playfulness that suggests she's coming around. ]
I am still afraid of losing you. [ And look some honesty. ] But, I'm not afraid that you'll leave me at the alter or back out. And I know you are strong enough to face whatever being married to me entails, so I know it's all just my own anxieties plaguing me.
Thank you Kristoff, I want you know that I appreciate your devotion. I don't think anyone has ever been devoted to me the way you are, and I'll work on my nerves.
[ He gives a genuine smile, glad to see her take his words to heart, and giving a small laugh at her mention of him possibly thinking she doesn't trust him. She was right; he did know. If there was one thing that they always seemed to be able to rely on, it was each other. ]
I love you, Anna. Whatever you go through, we'll go through together. Even if I have to reassure you every step of the way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She wasn't thinking. If I'd asked her to stop, she would have, I think. And I'm sure she'd tell me she was sorry if I brought it up, she's... a good person. It was just unfamiliar.
[ He knows he probably shouldn't be excusing anything either way; his own reaction of not speaking up or Usagi's assumptions that cuddling up with him was perfectly acceptable.
And he stops himself from it when he hears her say she wasn't okay with it. He looks up at the feed again, his forehead creasing. Of course he'd want her to be okay with it, but not because he told her to be. He just hated the thought of something he'd done genuinely upsetting her. He sighs, rubbing his forehead, before letting his hands drop back down to his sides. ]
Of course it's okay if you don't like it, Anna. I'm— I'm sorry. I was so worried about hurting her feelings or making her feel bad that I didn't stop to think about how it might actually upset you. I don't want you to pretend it's alright if it actually bothers you. I want you to be honest with me, too.
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On the other hand, she was consistently at the mercy of her feelings and Kristoff spending time privately with another woman with any closeness made her unsettled. It left her with the same anxiety that she'd felt when she'd started to think that he was trying to break up with in the enchanted forest rather than propose. She had a ring now, so she knew the reality, but she'd been engaged before so engagement was something that didn't feel quite as confirming as it should. At least not when she was having so many feelings.
Looking down, she toys with her engagement ring, spinning it around and trying to get facts to overpower fear. And not just fear, she felt disturbed, even angry. Angry that it had happened, angry that she was jealous, and angry that Kristoff was defending a situation that had obviously made him uncomfortable enough to worry about how she would see it. If it hadn't made him uncomfortable, he wouldn't have told her because he wouldn't think it a big enough deal to tell her.
Her lack of words is a strong indication of how much it's affecting her, but she tries to figure out which part to address first. Finally she takes a deep breath, not unlike she would when she's exhausted during a meeting and interrupting to call order. ]
First of all, I like Usagi, but she's an adult, same as you and I. She is responsible for her own actions, and she doesn't need anyone rushing to her defense or making excuses for her.
[ The truth was that Anna didn't want to hear him defend her at that particular moment. ]
Whether purposeful or not, she put us in an awkward situation, and obviously it made you uncomfortable enough that you felt the need to come to me and tell me and then proceed to defend it. So it's not fine. And it's not unfamiliar to you, you and I do that all the time. But that's the problem, isn't it?
So how about before we get into how I feel, you tell me honestly what was going on in your head while you were watching a movie in private with a woman who isn't me relying on you for emotional and physical comfort. Because I have a feeling, however you felt, you weren't focused much on the plot movie. [ And she wanted to be the only one to distract him from the plots of movies. ]
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What was going on in your head... He feels his shoulders tense, like somehow that's the worst question he could have been asked. Could he even really remember the whole plot of the movie? Bits and pieces stood out, but they weren't coherent, and he only had the vague sense of having found it had an at least somewhat enjoyable plotline. He rubs the back of his neck, his forehead wrinkling deeply, and he feels like he wants to say they should forget the whole thing, like that will somehow help.
He pinches the brim of his nose in frustration. He's trying to quiet the voice in his head that wants to say he should have known better, he should have said something, he shouldn't have let Usagi just rest on him without moving like it was all okay, that it's his fault and that Anna can clearly see that because otherwise she wouldn't be using that Royal Tone with him, right? He knows that that isn't rational, that he's beating himself up because of his own feelings of failure than because of anyone else seeing them that way, but it's a hard trap to not fall into. ]
I... [ He trails off without having even really started, biting down on his tongue, lips pursed, before he forces himself to try again. ] I don't know. I was confused. I was... Overwhelmed? I didn't know what to think about it. I knew back home it would be bad, that if someone saw us they'd start a dozen rumors about just one, innocent thing. But everyone here is so much more open about these things. It's normal to them. They touch all the time. I feel like I'm the weird one when it gets to be too much because no one else seems to be bothered by it, why should I? I—
I guess I was telling myself I was overreacting and that I like affection, I like when you and Elsa hug me or cuddle against me, so it's stupid that being around people who are affectionate should make me feel like I'm— [ He stops, brows knitting even more deeply as he tries to figure out how to say it. ] It feels like... when someone pulls you out after you've fallen through the ice. When you feel like you've been suffocating and you want the warmth, but every touch is so sharp and painful and you just want it to stop because it's too much.
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Anna wasn't always the best at directly listening, but she takes in every word he says without interrupting. And when he's done, she isn't quite sure what to say.
At his metaphor about falling through ice, she offers a smile. ]
Oh Kristoff, it doesn't matter if every single person here is comfortable with something, if you aren't, you aren't required to be like that. They might touch all the time, but that doesn't mean they have to touch you. Maybe you'll adjust, but you do that on your time.
I mean, sweethert, flip the tables, what would you say to me if I felt uncomfortable with someone being so close to me. Would you excuse it? Or would you tell me that I didn't have to be touched in any way that I don't want to be? Please be as kind to yourself as you are to me.
Kristoff, I've always loved you for being so different, it's okay to be weird. We are weird, right?
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Anna’s right. He knows she’s right. He’d never want her to force herself into situations that made her feel overwhelmed. He wrinkles his forehead, his eyes focused off camera, while he tries to take in everything she said, to really hear it and take it to heart.
There’s a faint smile on his lips when she calls them weird and he gives a small nod. They certainly never followed social rules at home, why would they here. ]
No. I guess I wouldn’t excuse it. Maybe I’m overthinking it all.
[ He rests his head against Sven, closing his eyes and giving a deep sigh. ]
I love you, Anna. I’m sorry if any of this hurt you.
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You aren't overthinking it, because it's a tough situation to be put in. No one should assume that anyone wants to be touched. It's not something that needs to be overthought, it's as simple as that. And if nothing was meant by it, then it's as simple as clearing it up and being honest about your boundaries.
I love you too. [ She says it back easily. It's hard for her to know how to respond. The last thing she wants is for him to feel guilt when she knows it was innocent, but it's tough. ]
I'm okay sweetheart. I'm not mad. I've just never had to share you so much before, and I feel... jealous. [ Her cheeks went pink, as she started playing with her engagement ring again, reminding her of that promise. ] I guess I'm a hypocrite, aren't I? It's not like you haven't watched men try for my attention.
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I guess I never really learned how to do that, huh?
[ He gives a soft snort when she mentions her previous suitors, wrinkling his nose at the memories. Princes and dukes who thought they could get a chance for political alliances. ]
I didn’t always handle that well either. [ A beat before he adds with a small smirk. ] Though I didn’t have a ring on my finger then.
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You have time, and I see you improving in so many ways.
[ She laughed and her blush deepened. ] I tried to show you that you were the only one I wanted to put a ring on my finger. But I suppose I can see better why it may have been harder to attend formal events when I had to at least be cordial to them. But you were the only one I was ever alone with.
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You're right. You weren't. I probably would've been a lot more unhappy if you had. I didn't even really think about it like that.
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I'm sorry you ever felt jealous, I hope I've done enough to reassure you over the years.
So, with this new situation, what do we do? Neither one of us is obligated to do, say, or act in any way we don't want with another person. So I guess we just need to agree on what's okay and what's not.
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[ The idea of a prince taking advantage of Anna to gain the upper hand wouldn't have been entirely unfathomable, really. ]
That seems like a good idea. Where do you think the lines should be?
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[ Not to mention all the stuff with Hans.
She worries her bottom lip while she considers. ]
Well, it seems a little unreasonable to assume we'll never need to be alone with friends, male or female. So obviously, checking in on someone when sick is a fine thing. And sometimes people get hurt and you might need to carry someone, or hold someone then...
Maybe if it's something we would only do with each other back home, we avoid it here? Man, this is hard.
What are your thoughts?
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I think... using what we would only do with each other might be a good base. Being alone with friends is always going to happen. I'm alone with Mako all the time and you've been alone with people too. It seems more like... what we do when we're alone that matters.
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That sounds like the easiest line to draw. I don't mind you being alone with anyone.
What if you are in the middle of something with someone else and I...need you?
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Then you message me and I drop whatever I'm doing and come find you.
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You might be busy. You can't just drop everything you are doing to come home because I... [
feel insecureneed you for something. You're the one supporting us here.]no subject
Supporting us? Anna, as long as we're working even a little, everything in this town practically is free. I can absolutely drop everything and come home to you whenever you need me.
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I...I know. I guess maybe I'm just not used to asking, so it's new. I've never wanted to interrupt anything in your life. Not your ice harvesting, not pushing you to attend parties, not even forcing you out of the barn. Though I am glad you are finally not sleeping in the barn...
Usually my life is so full of expectations and itinerary, and I'm used to you having to check in with me. Not, the other way around.
[ That sounds terrible and she flushes. ] I really am spoiled, aren't I? Even by you...
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He shrugs. ]
You're a princess— sorry, a queen. Of course you're spoiled.
[ His face softens slightly more, the adoration replaced with one of empathy. He knew how hard it could be to feel like you had to fight for someone's attention better than anyone, after all, and he knew how hard that could be on her after all the years of fighting for Elsa's. Maybe it was why he'd never made her fight for his before. ]
But you haven't always been. It's not like it was before, you know. If you knock, I'm always gonna open the door. [ He figures it's a bit more careful to phrase it that way than mentioning her sister outright here. ] I'm sorry things are so different. But I'm not more important than you are or more needed or doing more to support us. You're as much apart of this ice business as I am. You're the reason it exists. You're important, Anna, and you would be to me even if you weren't doing anything at all.
It's not interrupting when I say that I want you to contact me whenever you need to. And you wouldn't have been at home, either. Even if you'd pushed a little more.
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Either way, I know I'm not better for it and I see you as my equal. You always saw me as yours. My being a princess never changed the way you treated me.
[ The loving words go a long way towards soothing her concerns. Some people with no money had been far more spoiled in love and attention and freedom than she'd had. The blessings of life came in many forms, and perhaps that was what helped her understand people so well. She may have been spoiled, but she understood what it meant to not have what you wanted and needed. ]
A part of me really understands that. I guess life is just so different here and I was just getting used to changes at home, and now I have to get used to another place and another situation. I'm tired. I just want to plan a wedding and get used to my duties and have things return to some kind of normal. Instead we're stuck here, learning new customs and meeting people who live their lives in so many different ways.
I just don't want to be overbearing or tell you what to do, and I feel kind of...clingy.
[ She'd been that way with Elsa, when the doors had opened, and now without Elsa, she was clinging to Kristoff like he'd jump ship at any moment. ]
I guess, hearing you were curled up with another woman made me consider that you haven't ever explored romance with anyone but me. But I don't think you've had a lot of options. I'm not without my insecurities obviously. I mean, I assumed you might be looking for romance with someone else when you were trying to declare your undying love! I don't think my heart could tolerate losing you, and despite how much I know you love me, I still have nightmares about being told you don't love me.
[ She looks down, embarrassed to be so affected by it. ]
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While he'd had a somewhat amused smile on his face at the start, it changes, softens, eventually disappearing when she talks about her nightmares. Not for the first time, he wishes he could reach out and grab her hand, but maybe the video feed is what makes it easier to open up about it all. Like there's some kind of separation that makes it easier to be honest.
He bites on his lip for a moment, leaning back against Sven with his arms crossed over his chest. ]
I'm sorry you're still having nightmares. I know... what Hans did to you hurt you more deeply than probably any of us can imagine. [ He hesitates for a second, before pushing on, hoping he's at least close to saying the right words. ]
I could've explored romance if I wanted to, y'know. I just... didn't. Not having experience doesn't mean I don't know what I want. [ There's a pause before he corrects himself; ] Not that I think you were saying I don't know. But if you're scared because of my lack of exploration, you don't have to be. Wanting to explore romance with you was how I knew you were the one. I'd never have let you in otherwise.
[ He had planned on spending his life alone when it came down to it. Anna had just thrown a wrench in those plans by being irresistible, apparently. ]
At the end of the day, Hans wasn't your true love. And I am. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me.
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Her eyes look away from the feed as she thinks about what he's saying and she gives a little nod.
But she does look up when he mentions that he knew she was the one because he wanted to explore it with her. It's not like she thinks Kristoff is immune to the way women look or the desire for them, but she knows how dedicated he is to his work and how much energy he puts into it. She crashed into his small world and he had wanted her to stay and that meant something. And Hans wasn't her true love and she'd already started figuring that out even before he'd betrayed her.
She doesn't flinch at any of his words, or insert her own ideas, so she was improving. ]
I trust you. You know I trust you. Or if you think I don't, then we need to be having another conversation. [ Her tone hints at the playfulness that suggests she's coming around. ]
I am still afraid of losing you. [ And look some honesty. ] But, I'm not afraid that you'll leave me at the alter or back out. And I know you are strong enough to face whatever being married to me entails, so I know it's all just my own anxieties plaguing me.
Thank you Kristoff, I want you know that I appreciate your devotion. I don't think anyone has ever been devoted to me the way you are, and I'll work on my nerves.
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I love you, Anna. Whatever you go through, we'll go through together. Even if I have to reassure you every step of the way.
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I remember that too.
[ But now she's nearly jumping in her seat and it feels like the kind of conversation that needs a hug and a kiss to finalize it. ]
Hey Kristoff, how about we meet up for dinner? I think we've said what we can and I'd like to spend some time with you in person.
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[ He gives her his own smile before he goes to shut off his feed so he can come grab her. ]